Author Archives: Suzy

Divorce Wars

Divorce and war have a lot in common. We can learn helpful strategies about surviving divorce by taking tips from the marines. Start with getting strong and always doing the right thing.

“War is an extreme test of will. Friction, uncertainty, fluidity, disorder and danger are its essential features.”
  Warfighting – U.S. Marine Corps

Since I’ve been doing Midlife Divorce Recovery Boot Camps, I’ve been studying the U.S. Marines and their Boot Camps and how they go about preparing soldiers for battle. I’ve been reading a manual put out by the Marine Corps called “Warfighting.” This manual talks about the Nature of War, The Theory of War, Preparing for War and The Conduct of War. I was surprised at all of the similarities between war and life … and war and divorce. One particular  chapter, from which the quote above was taken, talks about the essential features of war which are friction, uncertainty, fluidity, disorder and danger. Haven’t you all felt those five things while going through your divorce? Marines learn to deal with those things. They learn to keep a cool head in spite of danger, uncertainty and disorder all around them.  We can learn from them. Continue reading

Be careful

Get the women in your family, or your RADiCAL group, or a group of friends and find a self-defense class. It could save your life! Be alert and be careful. And while you're at it back up your computer.

“You don’t make progress by standing on the sidelines, whimpering and complaining. You make progress by implementing ideas.”
Shirley Chisholm, Congresswoman

Shoot! I hate to admit it, but a couple of years back I spent some time standing on the sidelines whimpering and complaining. In fact, I was pretty put out about what happened. I was visiting my parents in Wichita (Yes!  The city I grew up in and home of the Shocker’s basketball team that is going to the NCAA Final Four!) and helping my mom celebrate her birthday. I was carrying out my last load of stuff to put in my car when a white SUV with two middle-aged white women pulled up, jumped out, grabbed by purse and my computer bag and sped off … even after my yelling and trying to get them to stop! They got my laptop, my phone, my daily planner, a notebook full of notes, and of course all of that stuff in my purse … all of those things that take a day each to replace. (Aargh!)  The license plates on their car were fake, and they weren’t answering when I tried to call my phone which they had. I wanted my stuff back, but I also wanted to tell them that there is a better way to live than that. I wanted them to know that there is a more fulfilling, fun, good way to live than that.How terrible it must be to have to find someone to rob everyday to keep up with your drug habit or whatever they were doing. It took me forever (well, obviously not forever, but it took up precious days trying to put right all the disruption they caused. Some of the things I will never be able to replace.  Here is something wonderful, though, just about a month before this happened, my computer guy convinced me to get a back up system for everything on my computer.  I did and it saved me in so many ways.  Seriously, I might not still be doing this if I had lost five years of work and 5 years of contacts with you all.  Here’s my advice … never leave your purse or your computer in an unlocked car even for a minute! Get a back-up system for your computer and have all of your credit card and other important information recorded somewhere. Also, pray for those two women (and their families) that they find a better way of life somehow.

“…be careful how you act; these are difficult days. Don’t be fools; be wise: make the most of every opportunity you have for doing good.”
Ephesians 5:15-16

P.S. If you are interested in a self-defense DVD, let me know on the comment page of